Sunday, October 21, 2012

The Plan Or Non-Plan...

Now that Matthew's celebration of life is over, the questions have started... 
"So what are you going to do now?" 
The answer... I have no idea. 
To give you all a little history, Matthew and I started dating when I was 18 years old. I have always had someone else to think about when trying to make plans for my life. I've had someone to bounce my crazy ideas off of, and make them become a reality, if in fact they weren't really that crazy. I've always had someone to check in with, someone that I know will worry if I come home later then I planned. 
I have to keep reminding myself that I'm in charge of myself, my life and that I get to do whatever (within reason) that I want. 
So I've started making plans, so here is my plan for the next year/ year and a half: 
  • go spend some time in Seattle with Dan (check)
  • restart the tradition of spending Halloween with my very dear friends, Jess & Trevor (check)
  • get my sisters tattoo with Jen and Denise
  • hike with my dog, Luna... as much as I can
  •  help with & attend Tillman and Heather's wedding in December
  •  *fingers crossed* a girls trip to Las Vegas to celebrate my 30th birthday 
  • go kayaking with Tim & Leah 
  • proudly be the maid of honor for Brandy Jeanne & Raymond at their wedding
  •  next year on my wedding anniversary, I'm getting the tattoo that Matthew and I designed to get together
  •  take as many pictures as I can & have fun playing with my new camera
  • craft/create as much as I want
  • spend as much time with my family & friends as I want 
  • to learn how to be myself without him

I have some other plans in the works, but I'm not quite ready to share them with the world just yet. I'm still going to live with my in-laws for now, because I think with all the rapid changes in the last few months that it will be better for everyone. I know I'll move eventually, and I'll probably be moving out of town, but I'm not making any of those decisions just yet.

I'm trying to open my life to possibilities because I don't want to miss an amazing opportunity if it happens to come my way.

 I do want to add that I appreciate everyone's kind words, thoughts and prayers over the last couple weeks. There has been such a huge outpouring of love from so many people, and it's truly humbling to know the effect that both Matthew and myself have had in the world. I'm still planning on doing some long overdue posts about our wedding and our amazing honeymoon trip, but I'm doing everything in my own time. But in the mean time, thank you.


  1. Those sound like great plans! I can only imagine how hard it is to truly lose you best friend like Matt was to you.
    I am so happy that you have a huge support groups that loves, cares, and is there whenever you should need one of us.
    Please know that this time of transition will be hard. It isn't going to be easy. People will say things that are not right for them to say. Just know that Matt loves you, he wants nothing more than for you to be happy (as well as all of us do), and he will ALWAYS watch over you. The bond you both shared will NEVER be broken.
    I told me parents that Matt had died. My Dad broke down. It's sad that someone so young and with so much life ahead of him could die at such a young age.
    Bethany, I want you to know that I think of you daily. I pray for you and Matt. IF there is anything you ever need, please do not hesitate to reach out.


    Renee Barnhart

  2. If you ever need someone to bounce crazy (or uncrazy ideas) off of, I am here. I feel bad about missing you last time you were in town, but you can always call :), even if it is to go hiking in the rain, although I do enjoy summer hiking more.

    Thinking of you often. I hardly ever post, so I hope you don't feel like haven't been watching and caring.

    sending my love


You have something nice to say? Write it here!!!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...